Spring Break Traing Ride or should I say Sprung Broke No Ride

Spring Break...Vacation...Riding...Camping...Hannah Montana...Humbleness. That was the last week of my life.
A while back, I decided to take the week off to spend with the family for Spring Break. It seemed like a good idea at the time and there was a race to start the week off right. Things never do go exactly as planned in my world. Do you ever feel like that drunk guy who is falling down? You know, the one stumbles for a fifty feet before he finally eats shit? Here is a play by play.

Vacation Day #1 - Grind at the Greenway (this is where the guy starts to drink)
I did manage to make my Hoffenchard debut, the 6 Hour Grind at the Greenway. This was my first solo race. My prowess has been documented on previous posts. Kenny you are wrong, that limp wrist gesture was a signal that there were a bunch of pansies out on the course and I was going to kick there fuckin ass! Most of the those people there will recognize this shot.

I had an idea that I would suffer, but it wasn't too bad. My first 3 laps were pretty good, but ole #4 was pretty freakin shaky. I might need to learn a little more about nutrition and shit. At the start of the 5th lap I hit a Red Bull and got some good tunes in the i-pod, I was a new man at that point. Ended up 9 out of 20 in my class with 5 laps. Not too bad I thought.
I must admit that the race was pretty damn fun, except for the fact that Jeremy made me feel like this

Instead of this

Vacation Day #2 - Easter (more drinking by getting drunk man)
All I could think of was that damn P.A.A.S. post. WTF Kenny, thanks for ruining my happy childhood memories.
Vacation Days #3 and #4 - Yard work (getting Loaded)
Luke is the man, that's him above with the wheelbarrow. Little dude is like an ant, strong as hell. Just wait till the training wheels come off.

Vacation Days #5,6 and 7 - Camping (at this point the drunk dude trips)
Loaded up the camper and the truck and headed to Dupont with the family. Forgot to latch the front cover on the pop-up and fucking lost the thing on the interstate. Dammnn iit! So much for saving money camping. No photo, too mad about being stupid as hell.
We all went on a hike at the Hatchery, my kids loved it. Thank god! Luke probably fell down two thousand times in two miles...did mention that he is tough as nails? Next was fishing at the campground. Check out the fish Ashley and Ryan caught. Luke and I got skunked!

YES...That is a Princess fishing rod.

While were there we went for a ride at Dupont, the kicker is that we each pulled a kid in a trailer. Try it. It doesn't sound that hard, but shit, those things are a workout. Three hours or so later we pulled back to the truck and headed for the campsite and adult beverage. I think I may have found a secrete training weapon. The trailer, not the beer. You guys already know that one.
Day #8 - Hannah Montana (very awkward stumbling by the drunk man)
Ryan turned 5 on Saturday. She is very into Hannah Montana, me, not so much into Hannah Montana. Ashley set up Hannah Montana activity stations and I even got to monitor one of the Hannah Montana Stations! Yippee for me! I got to help with coloring Hannah Montana pillow cases that had Hannah Montana on them. Did I mention that it was a Hannah Montana theme party. I need a drink just thinking about it.

Vacation Day #9 - Humbleness (Drunk busts his ass)
Went back to the Greenway for my final vacation day ride. I had an idea to see how fast a lap I could do. I think Jeremy had a fast lap of 38 min. How fast could I go. Hmmm. After a little warm up I dropped the hammer. GO, GO GO. Well, fuck, 46 min. was the best I could muster. I am placing all the blame on the two pieces a Hannah "God Damn" Montana birthday cake. That bitch has had it!
Well there it is, my Sprung Broke. Back to the grind of work. Later.


KB said...

all hannah montana happenings and busted pop-up aside, i think you had a pretty good week! 8 mins slower than someone who is paid to ride is something to be proud of. you're crazy. sorry we missed you at grind on the greenway! i do hate to miss a hoffen event. what other races are you doing? 12 hrs of tsali?

The Ghost of Jerry Reed said...

Your liberal use of the words "fuck" and "shit" are to be commended. I shall top your effort in my next post. Huzzah Urb!

word verification: sundo

joshie said...

I think I met this drunk, stumbling man you speak of at a birthday party once.

dwight yoakam said...

the herb! welcome aboard and congrats on the 6 hour solo.

nice to see a post from an original gansta.