late post #1 - xmas ride

thanks for the arm warmers, kenny!

i've been slacking on the posts, i know. but i will it up to thee hoffenchards. eric and i went on a xmas day ride at bent creek because it was beautiful weather and we had nothing else to do. it was in the low 60s on xmas here in wnc, 40 degrees warmer than my ride 3 days before xmas (which pretty much sucked). we met a really nice couple out on the trail, jay & jen (check jay out at bike zoo in knoxville). we met when i was trying to tackle a log obstacle for my 2nd time ever as they were stopped at the end of it. the pressure was on since they were my audience and my coach was 1/2 mile ahead as usual, and as expected i was in the wrong gear. i made it mostly across, but my dismount was none too graceful. we rode with them for the next 45 mins or so - down boyd branch, around explorer loop, deerfield to the lake, and back to parking lot. it was a bit muddy since it's been raining here for the past 2 weeks, but not as bad as i expected since the sunshine on xmas eve dried some of it out. jen was on a specialized 29er and was nice enough to let me ride it for more than half of the ride so i could get the feel for it's size since i want one. it was awesome and huge and i am now thoroughly convinced now that i need one. it will be bittersweet to say goodbye to the soma (my 1st mtn bike ever!) but i feel it's time to move on to better and bigger. the most inspiring part of the ride was the fact that jay & jen had driven from knoxville to asheville just to ride something different. granted, it's only about a 2hr drive, but we hardly even drive to pisgah since bent creek is so close! they told us about some great places to ride in TN and our goal is to explore more in our general area once the spring arrives. anyone ever ridden racoon mtn? i think that's what they recommended as fun, flowy trails in chattanooga, tn. so joshie, kenny, kyle, will - you up for some mtn bike camping trips this spring?

Tis the season

The holidays approach and as were consumed with presents and holiday joy we often neglect our most important friend of all: our bicycles. Even this fare blog writer has fallen victim to the laziness that occurs during the holiday season. But after commuting to work yesterday for the first time in about two weeks, my love for riding is rekindled and i am looking forward to my vaca back to VA and the scenic riding which i have missed. I feel i have forgotten what its like to ride for hours without seeing a car and im super stoked to ride the routes of my homeland of good ole Lynchburg, VA once again. I do believe that i will even hit up the North Carolina Winter CycloCross Series on my way back home to SC to get in a race or two of the sport ive come to love.

On an unrelated note...
shout out to the boys and girls of Team Pegasus up north. These kids know what riding and racing is all about! THE FUN! and if you havent gotten yours yet, be sure to pick up you Ladies of Pegasus calendar. It for a good cause and there is nothing better than chicks and bikes!

Race Report NCCX Finals

So the regular series of the North Carolina Cyclo Cross series has come to an end and i think the Hoffen boys were ready for it. I am however still somewhat sad to see the end of the season on the horizon since my new found love for cross racing is still fresh. What am i suspose to do with my sundays now? Well i know this weekend ill be sitting close to my computer keeping track of Nationals out in KS (man i wish i can make the trip out someday). Or perhaps ill give my Kona the much needed cleaning and overhaul that it deserves. But i digress back to the race...

After call ups in the 60+ field, we all new what was up.. everyone looked hungry to get those last precious points to try and claw their way up the overall standings. Will had an uncharacteristic bad start missing a pedal and falling back to the middle of the field but worked his was back up to the lead group by the end of the first lap. We both took our turns trading pulls for the rest of the race. Our Cane Creek buddy Jim Morrison spent his race going down in front of us, by my count at least three times but still finished in front on us. We crossed the line with 7th and 8th place finishes which we were both pretty satisfied with (Will with 7th and myself with 8th).

As for the overall standings, even though we beat everyone that was ranked higher than us in prerace standing and with this race's double points, we didnt jump any spots. Will ended up just off the podium in 4th and i was right behind in 5th overall. Not bad for a couple first time cross racers.

So now we enjoy a little R&R before the Winter Series or Short Track Mtb begins in Janurary.

Big thanks to Will, Tony, and Krystle for an awesome belated birthday weekend. Thanks guys!

Oh by the way.. Tony finished 23rd and is now selling his cross bike... so if anyones interested get in touch.

NCCX Finals

The finals of North Carolina Cyclo Cross series is this weekend in Salisbury, NC. This time the usual boys of hoffen cross will be joined by none other than the TameWolf (aka TeenWolf, aka Tony Z, aka ShwankBank, aka Man Hair Sweater Beast). Will we work together to try and wrap up top spots in the series or will we be at each others throats for bragging rights? Some have been training, some have not and after this past weekend of gluttony its anyones guess whos going to be this weekend king o cross. Spanky and KB are suposidly making the trip to support their bastard children racers and ring their cowbells with furious intent. Joshie may also be on hand to snap photos of the action.

In other news 09 kit design has been finalized and we will be placing our order by the end of Janurary so dont miss out. Be sure to get in touch with Ken about who wants what, he'll be making a list, so keep with the Hoffen spirit and make sure your naughty and not nice... HOHOHOLYCRAP

Race ReCap... NC Grand Prix

Good evening gentle blog follower. Let me invite you to pull up a chair, put on a pot of coffee and grab your favorite pair of spectacles because this post is going to be a long one. The North Carolina Grand Prix of Cyclo Cross went down this past weekend in Hendersonville, NC. The two day event had plenty of ups and downs for the Hoffen boys.

Day 1: Not a thing went as expected! Cold weather, pour planning, bad starts, mechanical issues, crashes, it was a pure day in hell! Capped off by Hoffen's worst ever finishes (besides TameWolfs DNF in NCCX #4)Will with 15th and yourself turely right behind with 16th. Some may say it was bad JuJu caused by a certain 9yr olds picture in a certain person's wheel...(sorry). Local boy and Cane Creeker Jim Morrison decided to show up and see what this thing called cross is all about. Jim suprising us all and beating both Hoffens pulled a 12th place finish. Not to shabby for a first time cross racer, Good job Jim. After the shame settled, the plan then turned to, "how do we forget what just happened? I know lets drink!" And drink is one thing Hoffens excell at no matter what the situation. So after sticking around to watch the rest of the days festivities, mainly Jeramiah Bishop's dominatin of the pro race, we decided to head back to base camp for reflection and replenishment and a little more foolery. As we tucked ourselves down to sleep we all thought tomorrow's another day...

Day 2: Neither Hoffen was amped about racing. The day befores stench still sat strong. But thanks to our lovely hosts Spanky and KB's yelling at the top of their lungs!!!! we found new life. We both had great starts sitting about 5th and 7th. After two fell in front of us were we sitting pretty in the lead group. But not all was to be... Will washed out on a crutial turn, dropped his chain and went down leaving him in the chase pack struggling to get back on and ultimately finishing in 16th. I on the other hand found myself in an unfamiliar place, trading blows with the lead group and feeling great, railing corners, clipping in perfectly, and finally riding the infimous "wall" well. So with all said and done i crossed the line in a suprising 7th and quite stoked about it considering the day before. Our buddy Mr. Morrison also improved on the day before finishing 10th.

Special thanks to KB and Spanky for putting us up and providing plently of good times and encouraging words. Thanks Guys!

Spanky's gentle encouragement....!
good form there Jim....
the source of all my woes.... sorry KB still love ya....why can everyone but me have a mustache???
Tapping off a weekend of cross with tiny tasty treats from Wendy's
Jermiah Bishop is a B.A.M.F. winning both pro races with ease....dopest kit and team ever created!! (besides the Hoff)photo of the year!! defenitely worth framing! yours truely going down during day 1... im still in one piece dont worry.

So with the coming Holiday the Hoffen cross boys will have to wait till Dec. 7th for the final race in the NCCX at Salisbury, NC to see where we'll finish in the series. Stay tuned people...

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!! oh yea and Saturday too!!

The 2008 North Carolina Grand Prix of Cyclo Cross comes back to Hendersonville, NC. Will and I along with co conspirators Joshie, Kenny and K Fischer are planning the trip up for a fun filled weekend of racing (for some), heckling (for some), and boosing (for all)! It should prove to be quite the weekend of carnage. Our mission: race well, no vomitting! Make sure to check out the course and a little cool video courtsey of

Hoffen gets its first W!!!

Will the G got Hoffenchard's first win at the 2008 Harbison Race to the River. Not only did Will win his age group, he beat everyone in the sport class...Will opened up his can of whoop ass in lap 1 and increased his gap over the field every lap there after. He ended up with over a 4 minute gap from the 2nd place finisher. Did i mention he was riding a 26" rigid single speed (crazy bastard!). We're all stoked about Will's win and maybe now he'll stop giving me shit about beating me in every cross race we do..(doubtful) Congrats buddy! oh lets not forget about the once TeenWolf, now known as the TameWolf Tony Zanca. Not known for his mountain biking skills, Tony pulled off an also impressive 3rd place finish. Boyah!

To whoever reads this, PLEASE HELP ME! I am Kenny's Lomo and am being held in isolation at the offices of Cane Creek by one Jim Morrison, mad scientist/engineer/and reader of all things mundane. Seriously, Metric Screw Threads: A Profile, does it get any worse??

I managed to escape the confines of his mildewed messenger bag and with the help of a Canon G5 got this post up. Kenny, if you're out there, please help me! I can't last much longer. Jim is threatening that he will send me home with Gary soon at which point i know i will be a goner!

Race Report

NCCX #5 Dobson, NC.

The race this past Sunday went pretty much the same as all the previous.. Will the G spent the race battling it our with our new buddy Shawn from Sledgehammer Charlies, I spent the majority of the race in no mans land and we both did something stupid in the last lap. We both agreed that Will's bell lap move on Shawn (who had to stop momentarily in lap 1 due to a wheel problem and was wrecked by a lapped rider in lap 4) was rather a dick move. I decided not to pass the man in front of me on the final straight before the finishing barriers, which i definitely had the legs for...idiot! The only other hiccup was when Will decided he wanted to bust through the tape on one of the down hill sections and take his own way down. But all in all the race went well.. Will finshed with a 5th place spot and yours truely closely behind with 9th.

thanks to K. Fischer for tagging along and snapping some photos... first cross race cherry popped! shell be back i bet! (with booze in hand next time im sure)

So lessons learned: 1) call ups kick ass! I was told that the lead group had built quite the gaps within the first few corners and added huge pile ups! 2) stay on the course! 3) loosen up your back prior to the start (sitting up on straights is like putting an ATTACK ME sign up) 4)RACE SMARTER!

Were taking this weekend off (driving 3 hours each weekend takes it toll on the body and the
wallet) So all those racing in Southern Pines, NC this weekend, enjoy not having the Hoffen boys in the field. We may be racing locally though @ Harbison State Forest .... (still pondering it)

in an unrace related note: we spotted a guy rocking some pink housing from chainstay to rear derailleur.... somebody creepin' the Hoffen style??
Viva cross!! McNasty out.

Get some!

This weekend marks The NC State Championships in Dodson, NC. Will and I will be traveling yet again to rep the Hoff. The NCCX#6 will be fierce as we have now made a name for ourselves (and with the title of NC State Champ on the line) people will be out for blood. Will the G currently sits 4th in the series standings and yours truely sitting pretty in 7th. Will we continue our climb up the rannkings this weekend? Who knows.. Why not come find out for yourself! Bring your Cowbells and PBR and come enjoy the chaios that is cross racing!!Viva Cross! McNasty out.

Hoffenchard takes a hike

With much convincing necessary, I finally got this motley crew to trek into Shining Rock Wilderness for a sunset hike on Saturday night. Jim was ready for an epic backpacking trip with gear, food, and lighting, while Kenny was ready for a night on the couch wearing just a t-shirt and jeans. Everyone was comfortable and excited when we hiked up at 5:30pm at 63 degrees, but a little less comfortable and excited (after being held hostage for the last hour) when they were let down at 8:30pm at 40 degrees in the pitch dark. Jim's lone headlamp led the way for the 6 of us and we made it down without incident.

Get this sun outta my face!

composing my masterpiece

in the zone

Eric after too much candy

Kenny & Josh do a jig to keep warm

Lady Hoff down!

Jessica went on her first mountain bike ride today, and we almost pulled it off without a hitch! After riding the gravel trails around the Biltmore House for about 6 miles, we decided to venture into the woods. As can be expected, I was a little nervous. This would be Jessica's first time on proper single track trail and she was on my bike (and to add to the awkwardness I was on Eric's new singlespeed 29er, 10 sizes too big for me). We turned off the path and up the trail and all went well, for at least 4 seconds. I'm pretty sure Jessica's exact words were, "Oh, Kelly. I'm going over!" I turned just in time to see little Jess tumbling down the side of a grass hill with her D300 in tow. At first I was scared for her camera, then for her. She landed quite elegantly and burst into laughter. Phewww! The only thing harmed was Eric's 1970s Bruggeman jersey (raced by none other than the legendary Mac Cannon in Belgium), which was covered in dirt/grass stains. Nothing a little Oxy Clean can't help! We hit the trail and she nailed everything like an old pro - 5 whoopty doos, 3 mini switchbacks, 2 steep climbs, and countless roots. This might not sound impressive to you, but this is a girl who hasn't ridden in 1.5 years and has NEVER ridden on a mountain bike trail - mad props to J-ca!!! Lady Hoff may have a chance in the mtn bike endurance season next year afterall!

Scene of the accident:

Lady Hoff:

Race update

Well this weekends race proved to be quite the cluster fuck indeed! While sitting on the start line before the call ups Sr. Will and I were looking around, oogling bikes, parts and whatnot, we noticed we were slightly out numbered by the guys from Sledgehammer Charlie's. These dudes came out in force, about 10 or 12 deep. Will gets his call up after still being in the top 10 in the series standings (yours truely missed the top 10 by just a few spots), then the rest of the field piles in to jockey for a good starting position. The gun goes off and not 3 second later a massive pile up right behind Will's wheel leaving the call up guys free to begin the hammer fest and the rest of us at a dead fucking stop. The rest of the first lap is the biggest mess ive seen in a race so far. Dudes crashing left and right in front of me people screaming "on your left!!!!" "watch out" "move it!!" So after the chaos of lap numero uno things natural became more spread out and i could get into my rythm and begin hunting down the 35-40 odd people in front of me now (which has seemed to become a normal thing for me when cross racing). Things were looking good, i was catching nearly everone and i could see the leaders only a few turns away when SMACK i hit the dirt! I even called it during warm ups, "if i crash this will be the corner" and sure enough i go down on the turn with the most gravel instead of a nice cushy, soft muddy turn. So now my rythm is gone, the adrenaline of a crash corsing through my veins but im determined to finish and get back on the bike. So how did we fare in the chaos filled field of 60? Will the G kept up his top 10 ways with a 8th place finish and yourself truely (given the circumstances) finished with a somewhat disapointing but still somewhat respectiable 14th. So now we start our recovery/training and do it all again next week in Dodson, NC... viva cross!mcnasty out.