CRB Training, Day 1.... WTF!!

Well, since Kelly has previously stated that I was thinking about doing the Cooper River Bridge Run, I am left with no choice but to go through with it. Being that the last time I really ran for any distance was in 1998 (and that distance being a scant 2 miles), I have decided that a little bit of training is in order. I know what you're saying. "Yea, but you are a Hoffenchard member, what is this 'training' you speak of?!" Normally I'd agree with you, but when you are the mascot of heavy in the Hoffenchard clan, beating 215 lbs. into the ground for 6.2 miles (sorry fellow runners, 10 Kilometers) doesn't sound like too much fun. So tonight Jess and I have started a run/ride challenge. The premise is simple, I've mapped out a 2 mile loop from our house. I try to run this loop without dying while Jess rides the same loop, completing as many laps as she can before I either finish the loop... or she has to call an ambulance to pick me up.

Tonight was the first night and it actually went surprisingly well. I did my 2 miles with a combo of running and walking in 26 minutes. Not the greatest, believe me I know, but for a first quasi-serious run in 10 years, I'll take it. I even felt good enough to keep going for a slightly more casual bonus mile giving me a total of 3 miles in just under 40 minutes. Another bonus as you can see in the picture, was the 4lbs. of salt that I created on the outside of my sweatshirt. I love sweating in sub 40º temperatures! I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow though. I can already feel my legs cussing me out and refusing to move. Jess, who successfully came out of her Hoff training (Read: riding as little as possible) did pretty good too, pulling a solid 2 laps in about 20 minutes. I tried to stay ahead of her and finish before she could get around to complete lap 2, but my pitiful, thick, heavy legs had no endurance to keep her at bay.

When asked about her performance, Jess stated, "I could of done much better if I could have stayed warmer. My stupid leg warmer thingys kept falling down and I couldn't feel my arms or my back. My toeses were a little chilly too. At least I look pretty good in my Hoffenchard kit, yea? Whatever, don't look at me like that! I'm going to finish my coloring!"

(seriously, she colored this tonight. She got a crayola calendar!)

Speaking of calenders, Dang this is a long post, There is now a Hoffenchard Google Calendar available to the public. We'll try and get all of our potential events on it to help our fellow Hoffs and spectators, If there are even any, plan their weekends to have maximum Hoffenchard saturation. Okay, Phew! Sorry for the long post. Joshie, Out!

Revolution Wheelworks Mixtape, A Murderous Gesture Of Friendship

Since I have nothing of interest to add within the cycling realm, unlike Kyle, Kel, Eric, Brandon, etc, I thought I'd upload some dope ass beats for my ride into work tomorrow and to celebrate a new sponsor. Oh wait, that is cycling related. Hmph!

Revolution Wheel Works Sponsors Hoffen!

Revolution Wheel Works will be sponsoring Team Hoffenchard for the 2009 season! Be sure to check these guys out here. These guys are definitely a great match for Hoffen! Bo Yah!

Bent Creek run w/Eric

Official training for Cooper River Bridge Run has started. One of my coworkers who is a triathlete (and 7 time Ironman competitor!) gave me some tips about cross training for running and riding events/goals, so I tried to get in a longer run and longer ride this weekend. I got a longer trail run in on Saturday, but the problem is that since I'm not used to running for that long my legs were pretty dead by Sunday so my ride was compromised. It'll get better with more practice and I plan on alternating days. Anyhoo, I was in class from 9-3:30 on Saturday then picked up Eric and went to Bent Creek. I know, you're sick of hearing about Bent Creek, but it's close and I love it so shut up. Eric had already ridden that morning with Malcolm, but I forced him to come run with me anyway.


All the snow from earlier in the week had melted, leaving behind lovely slops of mud everywhere. I hate riding in the mud (because it's scary) so I was happy that I was running. We started off on Homestead as usual, by the lake, over to and up Deerfield and left onto Pinetree.


Somewhere on Pinetree Eric stopped because his knee was hurting (that happens when you're an old baby) so I gave him my gloves and hat to take with him back to the car (I start COLD and get HOT).


"Pick up the pace!" Eric yelled and I won't mention my reply. I kept going to Explorer Loop and ran that clockwise. My goal was to get to the top of the loop and take a break and walk and then continue running after a rest, although I thought it'd be freaking awesome if I didn't have to stop. When I reached 45 mins (my longest run time yet) I could feel my legs getting tight but I decided to press on and see how far I could make it.

a dominated Eric sat by frozen Lake Powhatan and waited for his dominating wife

It took me 1:19:48 and I didn't stop once (except when I fell in 6 inches of mud on Pinetree)! I'm not sure of the mileage, but it was probably 5 or so miles (I never said I was fast). The good news is that I should be able to do the Cooper River Bridge Run in that time if not less since Charleston is flat as a pancake and Asheville is not. Woo hoo!

Hope you guys don't mind the running posts. I know Team Hoffenchard is a bike gang, but I will proudly wear my jersey at both running/riding events. I mean, somebody's got to post on here about something so take what you can get.

Bent Creek trail run report from 1/21

This post was written last Wednesday, but I didn't get lomo photos back til today.

Today it was 28 when I left work just after 4pm and headed to Biltmore House to do a trail run. As you know from an earlier post this week, Eric, Josh and I visited Biltmore this weekend and Eric went on and on about all the special privileges that yearly passholders have (just another excuse for Eric to lift himself up while stomping others down). You should hear him belittle the daily visitors like they are scum, unworthy of existing in the same place as passholders. I've gotten off track - the point is that even passholders weren't getting on to Biltmore grounds at 4:15 today, because their winter hours are now in effect. I boogied on over to Bent Creek and hit the trail at 4:40. I parked at Hard Times parking area, like I usually do for a run.


I was shocked to find remnants of snow still on the ground. It did snow Monday night, but it had of course completely disappeared from the roads and yards so I didn't even think of it being on the trails. It was spotty at first, but a few minutes into my run I discovered that most of the trails were fairly covered in snow, a winter wonderland if you will.



It was nice to have a change in scenery and it definitely got my adrenaline pumping because I was convinced that I would slip, fall, knock myself unconscious and be left out there to freeze to death overnight. No one would find me, I told myself repeatedly, there were only 2 other cars in the parking lot and it was almost nightfall.



I took Hard Times clockwise around the lake, veered left onto Deerfield, wound up, down, and around to Pine Tree, back out to the northern side of the lake, and back to the trailhead. That's a normal route for me, but I usually break in the middle and walk for 10 mins before running again, finishing in almost exactly an hour. Not this time, I ran the whole way.


Obviously I made it out without much consequence and managed to get a 42:19 run in before it was too dark.

Interval training

sike...y'all know me. the only interval i've ever done is tricycle racing back in the day. or naked tandem riding in the winter (remember that one B??).

what I DID do today was get out with my wonderful wife and slum up the Biltmore Estate's fine singletrack today. it's good for when you want to escape the crowds of Bent Creek. the only crowds at Biltmore are the out of town knuckleheads buying overpriced wine and "auto touring" around the grounds at 5mph.

but their trails are a nice respite from the long climbs and descents of the area. They are still narrow enough to be called singletrack and rarely do you see anyone else use them. And we are lucky enough to have passes that get us in free (thanks Joshica!). Anyway, you don't care about words so here are the pics.

asleep at the wheel. notice ghetto headliner resting on my dome.


lots of corn on the estate. this road connects the two sets of singletrack at biltmore.


kels first of many body temperature regulation attempts. i swear i have never met anyone whose body temps are as insane as hers.


kel bridging back up after my first interval obliterated her.


cows. soon to be the "Heritage Burger, flame grilled black angus beef" at the Stable Cafe. no lie.



another interval along the black angus highway. i narrowly avoided that manure no doubt dropped by a horse.


interval 3...look at that gap!


kel on the counter attack.


if you are an astute reader you will notice that kel has now gone through 3 different glove combinations in an attempt at regulating her seemingly un-regulateable body temperature.


a beautiful field.


everything is beautiful at biltmore!


a majestic biltmore horse...that dropped a deuce just minutes before.


end of the ride. another great day in the mtns.

Cooper River Bridge Run

That's right, it says RUN in the post title. Josh, Eric, and I have made a goal of running the 10K Cooper River Bridge Run this April 4th in Charleston, SC. I'm not talking a full on sprint, just not walking (that's my goal, at least). Eric has done one 10K before, but Josh and I are newbies (although Joshie did walk/run this 2 years ago). It's a big ass bridge, but the rest is flat so I'm hoping for the best. Join us if you're not a bike snob and will enjoy cross training.

Do they have SAG vehicles in running races? Just in case.

2008 sightings:

the B actually spotted in her kit. a rare sighting -

hoff member under a bridge -

a very expensive tandem -

a ride that turned into a night ride -

torn Harrel's bibs and some blood - 

a big lake.  oh, and the B -

a cane creek headset -

the frigid pacific ocean -

now what?

i just found out that bakers dozen 2009 is not happening - now what am i going to race?! that was my one race goal for the year, to complete the easiest 6 hr solo race in this area. any suggestions for a 6 hr race on a not very difficult trail? all my cold weather training down the tubes!

And it Ends!!!!

Well cross season is officially over for the Hoffen boys. This weekend's race was the final one on the calendar and i think were glad it was. This was Will and my first CX3 race and of course we picked a race that combined CX3,CX2, and PRO all in one field. Oh and we raced for about an hour (doubling our normal 30minutes). Long story short, let just say if the field was a train, will was the car right in front the caboose and i was the caboose, End of Story.

In the CX4 race, Jim Morrison (CC peion) took 5th and even Joshie kept his word and made a much anticipated apperience

Enjoy the photos...

no one told us there would be barriers this time!!! WTF!

Time to switch gears and begin preparing for either mountain for some or road racing for others or perhaps just enjoy some r&r and a frosty PBR.

Kits are in the works... Wheeling and Dealing has begun with Champion Systems. Keep a look out.

Also... HoffenCross approaches! Make plans you pansies! 2/7/09!