Considerate Fagg and CX Racing: Absolutely No Cycling Related Pictures

Saturday was an epic day for this Hoff. I awoke with a sore throat and mucous coating my lungs. Excellent. Then I did a cross race on an insane course in Greenville. In a nutshell, it was two separate courses "linked" (it was at an abandoned golf course) together. Although the lungs and legs weren't there, a small turnout and a little luck earned me an undeserved 4th place. I can't begin to sing the praises of the Grifo tires. Jesus, they're so fucking grippy! Anyhoo, I was dominated and during the car ride home, I dozed off dreaming about a Dollar General that had these crazy African masks for sale and I really wanted one. But, I didn't have any money but I had my prize check from the race, but they wouldn't cash it for me because the African masks were cash only. Then my deceased grandparents were there buying glue sticks and other school supplies. I tried to ask them for the cash (900 dollars) but before they could reply, I woke up. I drove home from Joshie's and made some soup. I was attending the Confederate Fagg show later in the evening and would need my energy. I copped a cat nap and then jumped on the bike to ride to New Brookland around 10:30. Got there at 11 and after I order a mouth-watering "Budweiser", Fagg takes the stage playing a super-sexed version of "We Will Rock You". That was followed by such classics as "Cherry Bomb", "Surrender", "Search and Destroy", "Sonic Reducer", "Round and Round", "Now I'm Down With The Boys (And I'm On Top)", "Queen City" and concluding with "Freebird". Approximately 200 stuffed animals were destroyed during the performance and about 50 porno mags were distributed. Coworker Marcie wore a severed teddy bear head like a Daniel Boone cookskin hat. Painter friend Jamie tried to keep a cute little stuffed pig only to receive the throat-slitting motion from me so she promptly tore its head off. I think we ended up at The Whig and then for some reason inexplicable reason went to Bar None. What an epic night of tomfoolery! See you suckas in Asheville this weekend....

Jamie and Marcie destroy a beagle head
Stuffed animal innards and pornography

1 comment:

KB said...

nothing says SC pride like some gay rebels in tight leather pants and mesh shirts! i heart CF.