The Undeniable Hoffenchard: September 2008

hip-hop & cross racing - what could be better?

If any of you are doing the cross race in Hendersonville Nov 22-23 you should come stay with us and go see Method Man & Redman at the Orange Peel with Eric on Saturday night!

my apologies, team hoff

i can't believe i haven't posted on our blog yet! i really have been meaning to, but at least i've been reading what ya'll write. i have no pics to post right now which sucks because i have been riding a bunch lately. the turn around time for shooting a whole roll of film and then getting it developed takes too long and then by the time i have the images it's been weeks since that ride and i don't know what to write anymore. also, our digi cam situation sucks. i'll be better in the future, i promise. anyway, if you're interested in what bike related things i've been doing lately you'll have to read the following text without visual stimulation, which could be very boring. consider yourself warned. so, i've actually been riding my road bike a lot lately and neglecting my mountain bike. strange, because in general i like mtn biking better. anyhoo, i started a new job back in august and started commuting in 2-3 times/week. the commutes have been pretty nice overall, except the early, sleepy starts and the dropping temperatures - 50 has been the lowest. then i decided instead of riding straight home or to the gym on those days i would extend my rides and do some exploring. i've been looking up cue sheets on blue ridge bicycle club's website and adjusting them to my liking. this has resulted in mostly awesome rides that have renewed my love for asheville and these beautiful mountains surrounding us. the rides have been averaging 15 miles give or take, which is perfect for me after a full day of work, considering the amount of climbing up here. today i couldn't commute in because i had to attend a training at another location, so i came home before riding. that's where i got in trouble. i made a stop on the way home, then took a 30 min phone call, then looked up a ride. before i knew it it was 7pm and i was just getting kitted up. riding around here at night is not extremely fun because we live so close to the country side of greater asheville and the rednecks out here don't like spandex, especially in the dark. i thought i'd be ok, so team hoffenchard headed out at 7:15pm. i wasn't rolling for 5 mins when eric called from vegas, so i pulled over and set myself back a few more minutes. the beginning of the ride went through familiar mountain roads in enka near biltmore lake and it was quite beautiful with the sun setting. however, enka back roads quickly turned into candler back roads and the sun was now down. i won't bore you with all the details of my frightening, frantic ride home in the dark but i will tell you 3 important things - #1 country mountain roads don't have street lights and it gets dark as fuck, #2 apparently i'm an "asshole" for riding a bike, according to the redneck teenage boys that tried to run me off the road, and #3 you can actually ride faster than you think, even when climbing, if you are freezing cold and scared for your life. in conclusion, my legs hurt cause i was pedalling faster/harder than usual in order to make it home in one piece. ok, i need to get ready for bed kids. i vow to start posting more often and will try to get pics processed in a timely manner. xoxo - kb

Vista Grand Prix

Columbia's first annual Vista Grand Prix went off this past weekend and Hoffenchard was represented to the max! With over 250 racers and over 1,000 spectators throughout the day, many people got a glance at the one and only Team Hoff. The race went just about as expected. Prerace jitters were high but once the gun went off it was all business. Will the G took his chance at the front a had a slight gap on the field in the first several laps. Once caught the Hoffs regrouped and each member made his presence known at the front. After the typical yoyoing involved in crit racing the final laps were spoiled by a group of sandbagging Cat4 racers. I of course, unexperienced as i am with crit racing, took my turn at the front with 2 laps to go. (mistake!!!) The Hoffs finished in, 7th) Teenwolf Tony Zanca, 10) Sir Will the G and 12th) for your truely McNasty. But ask anyone, with the absence of the Cat 4 racers, all Hoffs would easly made top 10 or even top 5. Check out some shots of the action taken by Joshie and look for more action to come with cross season just weeks away...

domination.

hope you kids have fun at the crit in cola. let us in on the results.

tahoe sierra 100 update is up - couple of posts down. enjoy, she's a read.

kisses - b

team hoff plays dress up in VT. dave checks out my dick.

Suprise!!!! crit racing this weekend

so i thought about taking the weekend off the bike, giving my legs, back, and behind a much needed rest... when teenwolf informs me there is a crit race this weekend in our own backyard. Thats right, a bike race in Columbia! man do i hope they close some streets because if were racing through the bike UNfriendly street of Cola were all dead meat. So a race just mere blocks from the casa... of course we must partake. yours truly, the one and only wolf, and Will the G plan on total domination. well actually its more like survival since 1) Will's racing his cross bike, 2) tony just returned from vacation and hasnt riden since last wednesday and 3) ill be racing a non familiar demo storck with Ultegra (lame). So keep your fingers crossed for you fellow hoffs...

in other news, new kits designs are already being tossed around.... and are securely on lock down!

paece out, McNasty

Cross Season is at hand

cross season is quickly approching and this season should be quite the adventure, with multiple hoffs planning and committed to racing a good part of this season. There could and should be many as six at any given race. So if you will be in the vicinity of any of the following places, pack up the cow bell and the cooler of PBR and come out and support the Hoffen crew. You wont want to miss mud trenching, hurddle leaping, ball busting action!! (especially since some of us are new to the cross racing scene)

in other news, our own Pastor Troy would like to give a kind word of encouragement.....

ReCap: Tahoe Sierra 100

-new fork race ready and freshly outfitted with some team hoff decals and custom salmon painted drop outs-

ever get that feeling like you may have bitten off more than you can chew? thats about where i was sitting the friday night before the race, somewhere on the knife edge between thinking what a good challenge a hundie on SS would be and wanting to shit myself.

camping out with ryan kleman (of former Jesse Brown's fame) and rich dillan (dicky, team dicky, bad idea racing, bare knuckle brigadier, tiny man and general dominator of things involving 2 wheels and 1 speed) was oddly comforting. seeing as no one from the tahoe area committed to coming out to the race, it was nice to meet up with some kindred NC hooligans and have some folks to camp with.

-preping with raman noodle dinner and cookies for desert-

the race start was cold and early. mentally i wasn't prepared for the day ahead, or at least the morning. its pointless to note that i wasn't as physically prepared as i wanted to be.

-dicky. getting ready to dominate or loot?-

-yours truly. making 29 inch wheels look like 26'ers. iPod loaded with pantera and whitney houston-

the cattle gates opened and that was the last that i saw of the big boys. the trek posse (chris eatough, jeremiah bishop, jeff schalk) on geared bikes and the SS studs of DeeJay, fuzzy, dicky, etc ramped it up and left most of the dusty peloton behind on the first climb. i overheard that at one point jeremiah asked what the hell that singlespeeder (fuzzy) was doing in the lead pack, then fuzzy shot off the front for a couple of miles. the young gun and local boy, dez wilder, came by me at about mile 4 - just into the first climb. i wondered what the hell he was doing way back here with the leaders way out already. whatever his strategy was, it seems to work as he placed 2nd in the SS class and 6th overall i think. damn. and he's only 21.

my mental funk was as thick as the dust in the air from 250+ starting cyclists. you know its going to be a long day when you are telling yourself that each pedal stroke a stroke closer to being done - AT MILE 5. felt ok, and i use "ok" loosely on the first climb. only 5 miles or so, shake the legs out and get the jitters calmed. the following descent(s) was(were) loose, rocky and DUSTY. just imagine the craziest fire road descent in pisgah, cover it inches with silky, silty moon dust and place baby-head rocks everywhere. oh, and cover it with a fog too thick to even dream of picking a line through. that gets close to describing the situation.

so, no surprise that i flatted around mile 15. all the gains i made on the climb i soon lost to a pinch flat. up down up down up down. made some ground on the downs, especially when things got a little tighter and a tick more technical after mile 20. back up the 5 mile climb to the ridgeline and more steep up down leading over to some downhills into the valley.

finally around mile 57 or so i started to feel better. i don't know where it came from or how it happened but i found a rhythm and actually felt strong. fuck, only took 50+ miles to get there. but i guess better to feel strong in the latter half of an endurance event. met up with another SS rider and we kept a good pace and started catching folks. in and out of the aid stations with little time wasted - though at mile 69 the aid station had margaritas . . . and it was awfully hard not to just say fuck it, get drunk and ride the truck back to the start line. had they been at the 41 mile aid station i may have quit the race.

the riders faces were starting to look shattered. aid station at mile 79 gets the death face award. quite a few folks sitting around just broken, waiting on a sag wagon for a ride back in. a lot of climbing from mile 80 to 92. some steep shit. i guess that i walked less than 3/4 of mile the whole race, all but one stint coming in this last section.

i found myself in a group of 4 SS riders with about 15 miles left. they looked like they were hurting and i played the part for a few miles. then just i decided that i was going to drop these guys. no real reason, not like we were racing for podium finishes. i really didn't even know where we sat in the race. we happened upon a climb and 2 guys got off to push, i hammered it. one guy stayed on the bike but was soon far behind and out of sight. i knew they were pushing larger gears and could catch me on the 3 mile rolling section at the end so i kept it pinned.

i found myself feeling pretty good with the strong pace and soon was thinking, "man, i can be done with this race, drinking beer and eating solid food a more quickly if i just keep this pace up". that spurred me on to pass a handful of geared riders and few more SS'ers who were pushing.

100 miles, 14,000ft of climbing and 11 hrs 02 mins later i passed under the race clock - to the cheers of fuzzy, DeeJay, dicky and others who were showered, drunk and cheering for the SS'ers (and other riders) as they finished.

everyone said the course was hard. not a lot of technical riding (which would have benefitted me) but lots of climbing, heat and sketchy/loose downhilling. jeff schalk crashed out early ripping his knee open. saw a guy on the side of the trail about mile 25 with a broken collar bone. saw another guy about mile 50 surrounded by medics with a shredded face and possible broken cheek bone. and not to leave out all of the broken spirits and blank faces found at the latter aid stations. out of the close to 300 starting riders, only just over half finished.

if i could have felt strong the whole day . . . still, to put things in perspective - the winning SS'ers finished 3 hrs ahead of me (and 5th and 6th overall. holy flippin' fuck they're fast). dicky lost 4 rear rotor bolts, got off trail and still beat me by an hour and a half. i just don't know how i'd make nearly 3 hrs over 100 miles. it helps when you don't work and just ride hard all of the time, all over the country.

even though i rode through some mental barriers and finished (midpack in SS and in the top 1/4 overall), i'm not sure my fantasies of an endurance podium will ever materialize. maybe i'll just commit myself to hard rock climbing and more vertical pursuits. but then again there is always next season.

gonna see if i can swing a few races back east next year. and i'm gonna holla at some cane creek and hawley sponsorship. oh, wait, they already sling me some schwag.

come on out anytime and ride kids. dirt or snow.

eatough and bishop share 1st, crossing the line together at 7:02! evan plews edged out harlen price of IF for 3rd.

SS men: fuzzy with beer, dez (can he even drink legally yet?), conrad. dominators.

national ultra endurance champions: jeff schalk, cheryl sorenson, fuzzy

fuzzy and DeeJay are 1 and 2 overall in the NUE series SS class. hardmen.

roll call

hey douche bags . . . whats the word on the fall domination schedule? from where i sit (and i can see a lot from 7000ft) things look like this:

end of sept. - clear up that interbike hangover and get on it

oct 4 - Treeshaker 12hr in charlotte. word on the street is that the old school posse is heading out there . . . wish i would have booked my flights for this event. damnit.

oct 11 - two team members marry each other. legally, even. strange. should get in plenty of training this week/weekend. mandatory team attendance.

oct 18-19 - Double Dare in pisgah. double 12's, rad.

oct 24-26 - National MTB Octoberfest in charlotte. 8 hr race, mtb TT, and some weird crit/cross/xc thingy call 'The Beast'. sure be disappointing. but the 8 hr should be fun, and Tinker is gonna be there.

nov 9 - Swank 65 in the mtns.

and i'm sure there is some road racing in there somewhere too, but thats boring. actually there is a road race around Lake Tahoe at the end of Sept . . . you kids at interbikes should come on up and race with me. 72 miles of wanting to hurl and being amazed by the view.

you could literally ride your nuts off, or ovaries - whatever the case may be.

whats the word? let a brotha in on the scoop.

Calling all troops - gang member in need of help

Hoffenchard Gang,

All of you know I am extremely passionate about both the environment and bicycling. I am participating in the 2008 Brita Climate Ride by riding my bike 320 miles from NY to DC five days in September. Veggie powered support vehicles will transport our camping supplies, and each evening guest speakers will speak on topics such as conservation, renewable energy, and environmental lobbying. Climate Ride will also help me set up an appointment to meet with one of my Senators or House Representatives after we've arrived in Washington following the ride.

This is an amazing opportunity for me to participate in a climate conference on wheels while raising money and awareness for meaningful climate change and renewable energy legislation. Climate change legislations and access to renewable energy is urgent and very important to me personally.

I must raise $2,250 by next weekend in order to participate and I need your help - I've raised just over a grand. All tax deductible contributions will be donated to Clean Air – Cool Planet, a science-based, non-partisan, 501(c)3 non-profit, whose efforts and partnerships are geared towards policy solutions and economic opportunities having positive environmental benefits.

Any amount will help me get closer to my goal.

follow this link https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=272731&supid=227526224 to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Clean Air - Cool Planet or go to www.climateride.org and search for patricia carson

Thanks so much guys!!!!

tracking . . . and i don't mean wild game.

if'n you're interested in following the lone Team Hoff rider in what should prove to be an ass kicking race . . . and i use the term race very loosely . . . check it:

Tahoe Sierra 100, with all the ballers in solo single speed -

http://share.findmespot.com/shared/gogl.jsp?glId=00cCqZvy7nk9ag1GjLRCvZr7d6tJQcedn

and link to the actual race course -

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=http:%2F%2Ftrail.motionbased.com%2Ftrail%2Fkml%2Fepisode.kml%3FepisodePkValues%3D6366373&ie=UTF8&ll=39.141782,-120.489808&spn=0.204534,0.28565&source=embed

holla!