Hendersonville CX race report

this weekend brought with it many firsts: my first entry in a cross race, hoffs first muddy as fuck cross race, will's first time sitting out a weekend of cross racing, hoffs first group meeting (duhhhhrama), mr. mcnamee's first viewing of a cross race and trip to AVL, and everyone's favorite - kenny's first time wearing a sombrero while celebrating his fake bday at papas & beer.

i'm going to let the photographs do most of the talking, but i will say that i didn't hate cross racing but said immediately after that i've done it once and probably don't need to ever do it again. a character builder, but no thanks. today i woke up thinking "maybe i'll train for next fall and do another race..." STUPID.

Caught slippin'

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

My SC cross report

hi, my name is eric. i enjoy Busch Lite, chips, and finishing near the back of anything cyclocross related. i also enjoy andrea stork's homemade salsa and chad storck's mad tax skillz, but i digress.

i finished near the back again. kyle, will, and kenny won some money. we're pretty much the best team in SC at cross right now.

in more interesting news, will decided being dehydrated, then racing, then bonking, then making cash money, then obliterating a 22(oz.) was a good idea. ken and i found him asleep under the truck. then he woke up and puked. and i heard something about Teenwolf trying a parking lot re-mount and crashing. also, my wife sat in a bed of fire ants. Now to the pictures...

kyle jumping



will jumping. hot technique




suck ass run up


top of suck ass run up


kyle punking will by riding said run up


will punking kyle with his undeniable couth


shit, i can't even come up with anything for this


ball rub and over enthusiastic fan boy creeper



ole kenny



ole me



transfer to frontside





post crash look of dispair


ole kenny on his way to the podium



head down in the caboose of the pain train



over enthusiastic fan boy AGAIN. kyle is my favorite/most loathed heckler


i like cheese!

SC State Championships

Some rode, some pushed, some shouldered, which ever way, it hurt! The Greenville Spinners boys threw down a gauntlet of a cross course for the SC state championships. The abandoned driving range and golf paths proved to be quite the challenge. I had decent legs but a wrecked back and pulled off a 2nd place in the 3s.
Now i do not think these pictures will do these climbs justice. I can not remember the last time my legs have burned so bad...

caught creepin

Considerate Fagg and CX Racing: Absolutely No Cycling Related Pictures

Saturday was an epic day for this Hoff. I awoke with a sore throat and mucous coating my lungs. Excellent. Then I did a cross race on an insane course in Greenville. In a nutshell, it was two separate courses "linked" (it was at an abandoned golf course) together. Although the lungs and legs weren't there, a small turnout and a little luck earned me an undeserved 4th place. I can't begin to sing the praises of the Grifo tires. Jesus, they're so fucking grippy! Anyhoo, I was dominated and during the car ride home, I dozed off dreaming about a Dollar General that had these crazy African masks for sale and I really wanted one. But, I didn't have any money but I had my prize check from the race, but they wouldn't cash it for me because the African masks were cash only. Then my deceased grandparents were there buying glue sticks and other school supplies. I tried to ask them for the cash (900 dollars) but before they could reply, I woke up. I drove home from Joshie's and made some soup. I was attending the Confederate Fagg show later in the evening and would need my energy. I copped a cat nap and then jumped on the bike to ride to New Brookland around 10:30. Got there at 11 and after I order a mouth-watering "Budweiser", Fagg takes the stage playing a super-sexed version of "We Will Rock You". That was followed by such classics as "Cherry Bomb", "Surrender", "Search and Destroy", "Sonic Reducer", "Round and Round", "Now I'm Down With The Boys (And I'm On Top)", "Queen City" and concluding with "Freebird". Approximately 200 stuffed animals were destroyed during the performance and about 50 porno mags were distributed. Coworker Marcie wore a severed teddy bear head like a Daniel Boone cookskin hat. Painter friend Jamie tried to keep a cute little stuffed pig only to receive the throat-slitting motion from me so she promptly tore its head off. I think we ended up at The Whig and then for some reason inexplicable reason went to Bar None. What an epic night of tomfoolery! See you suckas in Asheville this weekend....

Jamie and Marcie destroy a beagle head
Stuffed animal innards and pornography

SC CX musings

Pics and report to come but 3 of us Hoffs finished in the money, and I did not. Ken, Will and Kyle came out with enough scratch to cover their night out. I crashed very hard, wallowed in self pity and then finished.

In other news, Kel's fascination with cross continues. Below is a pic of us driving home from Home Despot with enough PVC for 2 bonafide Kylie approved practice barriers.













-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone