Bikes of Hoffencross

I thought it would be interesting to show off some of the bike porn that was HoffenCross 09. Actually i believe Kyle came up with the idea but since i am older and it was my event i am taking full credit for it.

I don't think i ever realized the hotness of the bikes in our immediate circle. So without further adieu here goes.

The first bike above is owned by Josh Baker. Previously owned by yours truly, which was owned before that from one Herb Mantel who was also at the race bugging Josh to buy it back. It is an old school Ibis Hakkalugi. Highlights include the Gang Green fade paint, Handjob cable hanger, original Ibis fork and the Ibis Ti quill stem. The older XTR cranks are a nice touch as well.

Below is The Will's Van Dessel Hole shot, AKA the Kyle McNamee beat stick as i hear it is now referred to. Highlights include his trusty Cole wheels which The Will thinks are jinxed as he had better results on his Sta-Tru's. Alas this trusty steed will be short lived as i hear a new Van Dessel is in the works. Just for the record, this bike also serves as The Will's car.

Next up is Kyle McNamee's Kona Major Major. Uhhh, this bike also used to be mine...Anyway Kyle gets hipster points for his delicate blend of silver and white and the liberal use of stickers. The Kona utilizes a scandium frame that was fast enough to beat Jim Morrison at the Hendersonville UCI race on day 2 so it must be good! Kyle brought his "A" game to Hoffenchard and rode the coattails of The Will's navigation skills to a tie for 1st place*.

Kenny Klatte comes to us with this mighty fine Rock Lobster, literally just days old. For those that don't know the Rock Lobster replaces the worn out BH "Angel of Death" Kenny has faithfully ridden for years. Lambasted at the Hawley Co since the beginning for not getting something new, he surprised all when the box from Paul Sadoff landed at the loading dock. Rock Lobster, hotter than canned wolf pussy! By the way, Kenny nabbed 3rd place overall when Peter Gilbert was absent from the awards ceremony, drinking the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull 22oz. 3rd place prize and leapfrogging Jim Morrison who refused to partake and thus was dropped to 5th.

Next up we have Money Bags Morrison's Indy Fab with S&S couplings (thus the name money bags, especially considering he bought this in college...). Indeed it is a sweet machine, note the Bruce Gordon cantilevers. While Jim has quite the skill at racing on courses that are laid out in advance, his navigation skills were no match for Ol' Peter Gilbert who handily disposed of him by over 15 minutes.

Speaking of Ol' Peter Gilbert here is his 10 year old Della Santa cross bike. Lugged and orange with a matching frame pump and vintage GEL 280's laced to Cane Creek hubs with Ti spokes! Friction bar con shifters! Hot Corn!! Peter is somewhat of a nationally recognized vintage guy and won the Haute Couture category as well with his vintage 7-Eleven vest and wool accoutrements. He was also sporting a really expensive helmet and martini socks. He missed winning by a mere 30 seconds as he was still finishing his math worksheet when The Will and Kyle rolled in. Did i mention that he beat Jim Morrison by at least 15 minutes???

*1st place tie - The Will, at one of the checkpoints, took a picture of himself with a plastic ring which he was to keep throughout the race. However at the finish it was gone. This would have given Kyle the race win and bragging rights forever. But as we came to find out at the math checkpoint Kyle's mental state could not handle simple addition so The Will completed the majority of the worksheet for him.

After several tie breakers (ground beef fat shots etc) were thought up it was decided no example of physical limit would be too much as both riders wanted the "W". It was ultimately decided that they would be eternally locked in a tie, thus providing entertainment for the rest of us to enjoy forever.

1 comment:

dwight yoakam said...

hot corn bike porn! sounds like a rad event kids . . . it breaks my heart not to be able to attend, honestly.

glad to hear that the will and mcnasty will have to fight over the W forever. and nice work kenneth on the strong move to 3rd - never enter a contest with kenny involving malt liquor!