Eastover Road Ride!

(A giant Cleve Gray painting at the museum!)

I woke up Sunday with a plan to ride a 50 mile loop in Eastover and Hopkins. Things were going well 2 hours in. No traffic, cloudy and plenty of water. Then I took a wrong turn. Well, I could've backtracked a few miles but I thought I could pick my way through the labyrinthine back alleys. No such luck. I got super-lost for some reason. I asked a kindly looking fellow for directions but was rebuffed. Perhaps he didn't like the cut of my jib (sic. my spandextual super-bulge which awakened long-dormant feelings suppressed from his younger days) or the crook of my raised brow? I soldiered on. It became warm then downright hot. My 2 bottles were quickly depleted and then it was into survival mode. God, how I began to hate road riding and bicycles in general. I remember somewhere around hour 4 imagining a new type of dildo being invented with two handles on the side for extra grip and control. It could be marketed for men and women, beast or foul. It would be 48 inches long. I would call it The Shaqulator. I chuckled to myself as I knew this was stage one of on-bicycle dementia.

(A pig mail box. It displeases me)
(A slanty shanty. Its mere presence soured my humors.)As the spectre of insanity grew nearer (additional thoughts included "when Redd Foxx died, did he clutch his chest like he did on TV?", "Haiku is overrated" and on and on) I pedaled back into town on Pineview and was comforted by the fact that my suffering would soon be over. 70 something miles later, I rolled into the crib and high-fived Mimi as we shouted in unison "That's the shiz-nit right there!" Then came the vodka! Probably the best Sunday road ride of all time!!! OKTHXLOLBYEZ!

(Mimi at 100 percent concentration prepares herself for a post-ride high five. She's such a lil' trooper!!!)

Vacation week

suppose i should catch everyone up on what was quite a relaxing week of vacation. i decided to turn the lights off at the office friday at noon and head to charlotte. met up with some friends saturday morning to ride sherman branch (motley crue above).

Herb soon asserted his parking lot dominance by rocketing out on the trail with wreckless abandon. scorch was the only one who could maintain the fierce pace and before you know it we were back at the parking lot.


here we are right before Kenny does some awesome ninja shit to herb in retribution for the race pace.


and here scorch watches said ninja shit. he is wise indeed to not interfere.


onward to fuel pizza before the presbyterian crit in downtown charlotte. sorry, i mean UPTOWN.



here are some bike racers at said crit.


and kelly as she barters for fake oakley's with a street vendor. kenny's junk looks on in amazement at her negotiating skillz.


sunday we headed to the FATS trail system with joshie and kenny for miles and miles of deliciousness.


here is kenny, blissfully unaware that soon his precious american classic wheels will suffer a most unsightly injury.


some wreckless eyeballin' going on


miss baiz had a smile on her face all day. to quote Kelly, "this is the most fun day i have had in my adult life!". really?? what about Oct. 11th crack head? remember our wedding?


the sweat factory that is joshie.


fast forward to beaufort, SC and some cooking with the baiz and her momma. i was knee deep in vodka tonics by now (a recurring theme for the next 3 days).



insert witty sentence here.



cruising down to the coffee shop. man i miss riding those bikes.




a delicious sandwich


lots of cool stuff hiding on the salt flats.




kenny made the drive up on friday after i got back to asheville for some road riding and vodka tonic drinkin'.



then on saturday joshie appeared and a group ride ensued.



the end.

shit + fan = october!

let the shit talking begin . . .

yours truly is headed east in 'roctober' for the wedding of my little sister (and by far my parent's favorite, and i'd go as far as to say the prettiest).  plane tickets have been purchased.  this also happens to give me a chance to pack up the bike and ride with all of you mangled, halfwit backwoods kacalaky folk.

OCTOBER 10TH  BITCHES!  mandatory attendance!

hearts - b

Kelly's Nemesis

We rode at FATS Sunday. It was the fucking super-chron. It was Epic. IMBA Epic. It was an EPOCH! Epochalypse Wow! Here is the log that put the submission hold on Kel...

a midsummer night's dream, er, i mean midsummer hiatus. and an 8 hour race.

i know some inquiring minds have been wondering if i fell off the face of the two wheeled earth.  no, just a bit of midsummer downtime out this way.  had a fun and somewhat rewarding first half of the season on the bike, then came the end of june and the arrival of Dave Nicolay (who some may remember is a team hoff member, though i haven't seen him on a bike since a NYE very intoxicated ride into downtown raleigh).  we lived it up a couple of days in tahoe and then hit the road for Moab.

what followed was a 4 day raft trip down the colorado for Joel's dirty thirty.  lots of beer.  lots of whiskey.  no riding in sight.

it started with a bit of this:

then onto this:

with a fair amount of this:

a few of these:

more of this:

plenty of this:

a few rocks:

some of this:

followed by this:

definitely a fair amount of this (Dave, making the team proud):

even some of this (very late, very 'hydrated'):

then this:

wrapped up with this:

yes, dave is sleeping in a crate.

then came a week with dave and joel both back in Tahoe.  good times.  then some climbing and such for the month of July.

like this in yosemite:

and a washed out shot with the B:

what, its August?  yeah a month off the bike - eating, floating, swimming, climbing, drinking and other general merriment.  August 1st - the Kirkwood 9 to 5.  i found out about it 4 days before the event and decided to race because i needed to get back on the bike.

technical course.  descent climbing.  finished second to a former pro in the single speed class (he also set the fastest lap of the day!).  we had a 'fun' battle during the race in which he better me in the final two hours.  just happy for the podium after a month of nothing two wheel related.

the only flat section of trail:

podium:

sweaty armpit man is trying to hold my hand . . .

'recovery' ride sunday was a brisk 100 miler with the boys around the lake and up to Truckee.

happy august.