Lunch ride with Kylie

Nice little lunch ride today with out west hoff Kylie.

Euro mullet time

This haircut will be UCI compliant.

Shit just got real son..!!!

Weekend Hash Run

I fell asleep at the gay bar. Luckily, Eric was kind enough to wake me up.

let the smack talk begin

The Hendersonville UCI cross race is just over a week and a half away, and with most Hoff's in attendence, the smack talk has started. Myself and Kylie, who is flying in from the peoples republic of boulder, had this pleasant exchange via chat earlier:

Kyle: i'd like to ride a little mtb if at all possible
any way we could get me a bike? well if the weathers good

Eric: no doubt, we'll get a mtn bike for you.

Kyle: get me something i can tear your legs off with

Eric: hmmm, don't think i'll find anything like that. i will try to find something that will help you keep up with me though

With the amount of drinking that is planned, the only legs being torn off may be our own.

Salisbury CX Re-Cap: Throwbacks and Throw-ups

The air was crisp, the sun was shining and in 45 minutes, I squeezed out a fat steaming pile of hot fuck. No call-up this time and no starting grid so that meant crossed wheels and handlebars touching handlebars ever so gently during the clusterfisting of a start. Everyone will get a chance to take it up the cornhole so what's the rush? A miserable clip-in sprint debacle saw me running 25th out of 40 or so. I'd yo-yo here and there with the other midpack cannon fodder for the rest of the race. At one time I'm 16th, then a bobble in the woods and I'm 21st. Then a pass on the straightaway and I'm 17th. Then a "what the fuck is this guy DOING?" and I might as well be racing Special Needs 65+ CX7. All griping and swearing aside, the course was tons of fun with a nice mud puddle that looked and smelled like the contents of a tacqueria porta-john. I hoped Tony would redeem us be he did even worse than me in the 4's race. Not much worse, but worse. His pile of hot fuck was not only steaming, but a bit runny as well (even in the 2008 Hoffenchard throwback kit). He should've taken me up on my offer to apply his embrocation for him. Homo-eroticism is Mother Nature's Sportslegs. In his defense, he was caught behind a spectacular crash on the first lap. After Sunday's humiliating performance, it's back to the drawing board. Two weeks before Hendersonville so that means either take this weekend off or get more of the same in Charlotte. Best part of the day was watching a CX4 racer projectile vomit the entirety of his stomach after the race. I thought it a fitting metaphor for Hoffenchard's weekend performance.

After a poor showing, Tony renounces his beliefs and reutrns to hardcore Satanism:

Colorado Cross Classic/ Boulder Cup

Both days proved to be quite the sloppy slick mud fest that I was hoping for. Here is what went down.

The course dried out a bit for the Elite men and women with the mid afternoon sun, leaving only one or two sections of slick shit.
Ryan Trebon won a race. Yippie...
Katie Compton won a race. Yawn...

I placed mediocre in the 3s. Obvs.

These two races really do prove that Boulder is one of the best areas in the country for cross. These courses were hard, techie but also fun as hell. They left you spent and having the post race hack but with a smile ear to ear. Add the mud and sunny but chilly weather and you got on hell of a weekend of racing, not to mention the level of competition out here. A Junior, whom started 2 minutes behind the 3s and 1 minute behind the single-speeds, caught and beat both fields. I mean what do they feed these kids out here?!

If you want to get a little more peep this or use the Google machine or check just about any cycling website, duh.

As for me, I may just take a little break from racing, T minus 17days!