CX Race Report #1 Valmont

The course at Valmont Bike Park is like no other cross course you could think of. It has a mix of dirt road, single track, berm filled downhills,

a monster sand pit,the Belgian Stairs, and the leg killing 5280 run up.As for my race, lets just say things just did not go as planned. My start was great, settling into 4th after the first half lap going into the 5280. I thought all was good, just sit in hang with the boys at the front, try and make a move if someone bobbled or I could tell they were suffering. That strategy quickly went out the window. I was the one who kept making mistakes and paying for them. Although I had ridden the sand pit every time during warm ups I couldn't make it cleanly across and it cost me a good 2-3 spots each time. About half way in I hit the wall, BIG TIME. The legs locked up and said, "sorry sucka we're out this piece!" and I kept falling back. I ended the day in 17th. Not at all where I had hoped to be. Hopefully I'm blaming it on the 1st race jitters. Lets hope I'm right.

This weekend race will be a Xilinx, a course that if I remember correctly should be less of the up down style at Valmont. Hopefully my form will show its reluctant fat ass face.

A Piece of Hoff History

Who wants a piece of Hoffenchard history? After a summer of debate and riding in the CO Rockies. I have decided its finally time for the leap to a geared mtb bike. Parting ways with this gem will be no easy feat. Its been ridden to the historic 12hr of Tsali Hoff podium sweep, passed down to me from the "godfather" of Hoff and much like all my bikes become an extension of me...ha! If anyone is interested shoot me an email @ teamhoffenchard@gmail.com

In other news, today is the first ever cross race at
I'm pretty pumped that cross is finally getting underway.

Hoffenchard 2.0

Check it. Hoffenchard has a new revamped Facebook page.

give it a LIKE and glance at some of Hoff's past adventures. Be on the look our for all the upcoming cross antics (cross is coming up fast)....! Booyah!

I am also told that the infamous Hoffencross is happening today. Totally bummed I'm missing it. Should be Epic!

Banned 90's LUNCHABLEZ commercial - watch more funny videos

ORAMM 2011

A little over 3 weeks ago ole Kenny threw his back out and asked me if I wanted his ORAMM entry if he couldn't make it. I think i told him something like, "I don't know". We left it at that, then he throwed his back out AGAIN, and asked me if i wanted his entry. Against my better judgement I said yes. I had been riding steady all year, but not in the 3 weeks leading up to this. I had 2 weeks notice to get ready for 63 miles and 11000 feet of climbing.

Long story short, I finished my first ORAMM in 6:42 and change (95th overall, 500 entered). Couple of pics courtesy of Lightbox productions. Elevation and course map from Blue Ridge Adventures.

Heading up Kitsuma. We did this in the morning and on the way back in at the end of the day. Basically 2.5 miles of steep switchback climbing (with 4 miles of gradual climbing before this...) with an equal amount of shredding the gnar on the backside descent.

 

Creek crossing at the bottom of heartbreak. We did this twice, on the way out (climbing), and on the way back (DH). Less than 15 miles left at this point, but with the Kitsuma climb in between you and the finish.

Special thanks to Mr. Klatte for his entry...i probably would have never entered this without his generosity and weak back. Also thanks to New Belgium Brewing, who had a beer tent at the finish, with free beer, which i beelined to the second i crossed the line.

Time to mix it up again....

After about a month and week post surgery and I'm starting to feel somewhat strong on the bike again. I think it's time to mix it up and test the race legs out at the North Boulder Park Crit. I need to get some racing back in the legs to start getting ready to ramp up for cross. Yes I said cross, its already on my mind and I'm gearing up now! Get ready biotches....

"That was irrational of you... not to mention unsportsmanlike."

Sheesh what a weekend. I had hopes of driving up to Pisgah on my day off Friday but the green blob on the radar directly over Pisgah didn't look promising so I decided to head to FATS. The plan was to ride the less popular Deep Step, Big Rock and Tower trails first and then come back towards the parking lot and finish on the all-too-popular Brown Wave and Skinny loops. The trails were deserted and in pristine shape. I can't remember having so much fun on a bike. Big Rock counter-clockwise and Tower clockwise are easily some of the best riding imaginable. Fast, flowy but not as pump trackish like Great Wall or Brown Wave. There are some steep climbs and even steeper, very tight descents. Even though a shower had passed through overnight, the trails were dry with the corners quite tacky. Coming back on a conenctor trail, I overcooked a tight lefthand turn and kicked my leg out to prevent a crash. I instantly felt my back muscles seize and then give out. I had pulled my lower back yet again (September 2010 was the last occurrence) and hobbled to the car. Fuck. I was on my back unable to move Friday and Saturday and then spent 3 1/2 hours in a car Sunday driving to the Dinosaur Jr / Off! concert in Atlanta. Incredible show. Off! blew me away. Their lead singer, Keith Morris, was the front man for the Circle Jerks. Their guitarist played in Burning Brides. The bass player was from Red Kross(!) and their drummer Mario Rubalcaba played in Rocket From The Crypt and Hot Snakes! So yeah, pretty much a super-group. Dinosaur Jr. performed "Bug" in its entirety along with a few other hits. Still one of the loudest bands you will ever encounter. Although the show was amazing, my back paid for it dearly and after missing work Monday and Tuesday, I am sitting here on a Wednesday morning at my work desk, typing this in agonizing pain. Such is life. I hope to be back on the bike in a few weeks.
Here is OFF!



Here is the sherm pipe I found at FATS. Scraped the resin out for some foil hits on the drive back home to ease my back pain.


Here is Dinosaur Jr:

Fairwell dear friend...

If you've even hung or tried to hang with the Hoff crew you have undoubtedly heard about the "Burrito Ride". Well Joshie dropped this little nugget of information on me last week. Yo Burrito is no more!!! I know... WTF!! I guess with the Hoff crew not giving the place a stead flow of drunkards they couldn't stay afloat. So on that note, A photo bomb for you Yo Burrito...

not burrito related but just because

Also I do realize that these photos IN NOW WAY represent the shit that has gone down on burrito rides. I merely inherited the tradition. So dig deep through your photos Hoffs lets see what you got! Do it for Yo! Single tear.

Belated Burn 24 Hour report

Early in the year I talked Chad into doing the duo category at the Burn 24 Hour. Seemed like a fun idea at the time. He had never done a 24 hour race and i had only attempted a duo once at the 24 hrs of Adrenalin in Conyers around 2004. I made it to around 2am before i climbed in the tent with B and called it quits (B went on to finish solo). Fast forward to May 27th...Chad, Andrea, and I are riding Mad Max style in the Cane Creek work truck down I-40 headed to Wilkesboro to set up camp and pre-ride. I don't have any pics of the course but it didn't seem so bad. Some climbing, lots of roots, some fun downhills. Afterwards, we headed to Amalfi's Italian Restaurant and discovered the best reason to ever go back to Wilkesboro...Beer in a boot.

Beer dranked, we called it a night and headed back to camp. Saturday dawns and I finally talk Chad into doing the lemans start AND the first two laps. Awesome. From there on we were 2 laps on, 2 laps off. The small hills on the course suddenly seemed bigger, and the roots were super slick and massive.

Chad stayed calm and collected. I, on the other hand was mentally and physically all over the place from lap 1 until my last lap. One lap would suck, the next would be great. That continued most of the night. Chad didn't break down until around 1am i guess. Thank dog, i couldn't believe how easy he was making it seem considering he had just come off the couch a month earlier.

I thought we would settle into a nice groove and churn out moderate laps. Turns out we were actually racing, and had been for 13 hours, something i wasn't completely expecting. After looking back at our lap times we had consistently ridden mid to high 40 minute laps for the first 12 hours. 50 + minute laps didn't come until after midnight and even then they were only 5 minutes or so off the pace of most of our day laps. That explains why the pace felt so hard.

Around midnight we were in 8th or 9th place out of 15 teams. By 7am we had moved up to 4th, 30 minutes out of 3rd place. This was good and bad. Good because we had dominated through the hardest part of the race to move up, bad because with sunrise, I had also expected to ease off. Andrea talked me off a cliff a couple of times when I was mentally thrashed and we pushed on through to the finish. We never caught 3rd, so 4th place it was and we were happy with that. 28 laps total, 208 miles. Hardest race i've ever done.

What do we have here??? 7'ish on Sunday morning.


Like a boss...click to get the full effect.


Finishing the 6:30 -8am shift



Me: this course can eat a dick. Chad: yawn. I just had a nap, a hot dog, and a pack of nutter butters.


Mr. Happy off again. Very Nice!



Low point of the race for me. Lap 12 of 14. Sleep deprivation mixed with racing is a bitch.


Finishing up.



Done.


Interesting tidbits...evidently Chad has a son (see pic below). They met for the first time at Amalfi's. You'll have to ask him about that one. Chad's nipples also instantly chafed on the first lap. He wore band-aids over them from lap 2 till the finish. I have pictures but only for the right price.


Also, putting a portable grill together 30 minutes before the start is not the best use of time.

Thanks to Andrea for being Directeur Sportif for the weekend. Not only did she get us a boss pit site, she stayed up all night making sure we were ready to go when it was time. Thanks also to Kel and Josh for cooking and generally keeping up with all our shit and having it ready when we needed it.

That is all, thanks for coming.