Middle aged white lady with white new balance slip on athletic shoes (and more balls than me). Confronts bad etiquette bar traveler and takes a prime spot at the bar. Of course he still takes up a seat with his luggage.

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Fucking bar hogs

Any one who travels frequently, shit or even once, knows the importance of the airport bar. It's what keeps me sane on trips while waiting on a connecting flight.

Which is why I'm all pissed off when I get to the Sam Adams beer house at concourse C today (gate 57 if you were wondering). I walk up to the bar as I always do and lo and behold this dude is actually taking a chair up with his fucking luggage! Jesus Christ what a fucking idiot. I swear if this had been 2 weeks ago when Hartsfield was nothing but delays and cancellations this dude would have been run the fuck out. And the guy 2 chairs down is too snuggled up with the empty chair beside him to even creep in. Long story short I'm sitting at a table where I have more room but I'm right on the edge of the restaurant. AND some bitch just commented on my nachos that while they look delicious she bets they are fattening.

random traveler with no bar etiquette.

Delicious fucking nachos

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New Kits Have Arrived!

New Kits are here and Hoffen should be represented well this coming weekend with half the crew in Charleston doing the Cooper River Bridge Run and a few in Rock Hill for criterium racing.
April looks like it will be a busy month for us Hoffs. We have Grind on the Greenway, SC State MTB and CRIT Championships, Athens Twilight and Tour De Cashiers. So be on the look out for the Hoffens, we're spreading like the bubonic plague....

Peep the new kits... Thanks to Champion Systems and all the sponsors for hooking it up this year.

R&A Cycles

Went by r&a cycles in Brooklyn yesterday.

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Finally a mtn bike shop

Up in Scarsdale NY at Sierra Cycles.

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Bling Bling!

Our first fleet of Revolution Wheels arrived last week and we've been able to put some initial miles on them. I went with the Rev 50X because I plan on racing these bad boys in crits and cross this year. My first impressions are that tubulars are dope! Ride quality, weight, not to mention they make you bike look super fast even if you may not be. Now going from my DT Swiss 1850s (which I love and will never get rid of, they're freaking bomb proof!) to My Rev's which weighed in at 1360, I noticed a huge difference! The only issue I've come across is a massive squeal when braking. But this is more than likely do to my brand new pads on my brand new carbon rims or possibly an improper pad alignment by yours truly (I'm working on it, haven't been able to get back out on them due to the weather these days).

My 50x's, 50mm deep carbon rim, 24 spokes 2 crossed in front, 28 spokes 2 crossed in the rear make more a pretty stout wheelset.
Josh went with the Rev 30's, a 30mm alloy rim with a 24 spoke radial front and a 28 spoke 2 cross rear. Joshie has ridden to work a few times and says he's enjoyed his wheels, with the exception of a loud freewheel (which I also had but after opening up the hub and applying a little grease, it went silent, I mean dead silent, you can't hear me coming...).Will opted for the Rev 50's. a 50mm deep carbon tubular rim with 20 spoke radial front and a 24 spoke 2 cross rear. He can get away with these for road and cross since hes about 5 foot nothing and a buck 30...We're hoping with the addition of these wheels the Hoff boys will be able to pull out a couple of Ws this year. Now be it on the road or off is another story all together. Just keep a look out, odds are we'll be ahead of you... HA!

Ask and you shall receive, Kyle

Last night was Tuesday night MTB ride, which turned out to be Tuesday night MTB photo shoot. After all the bitching about the lovely scenic views in AVL, I deliver you some "action" shots. It ended up being just Jim & I since Eric was out of town (AGAIN, STILL) and I never heard from Fuckin' Gary or Tsunami.

I requested that the ride not be a "death march" because I know that's what Jim likes to do. He said he wasn't in the mood for that tonight, so it'd be fine. Then we turned and headed up the road towards "The Wall". How is that not a death march? Up the wall to Side Hill Trail, up Side Hill, down Side Hill.

This photo is blurry because Jim said "go faster than you think you can go." Or maybe it's blurry because Jim can't take good photos, like me.

Jim had never jumped this rock before (because he's a wuss). Since the mission was to get some good action shots he decided to hit it and risk his life. About 15 times.

At the bottom of the Side Hill we were stopped to take some photos and who should roll up but Andrea (of Chandrea) Storck and her bright yellow jersey. Remember, she did Hoffencross with her husband Chad? Kenny used them for directions and pixi stick powder. Andrea said she wasn't on her game this week and showed us the damage to her knee from falling in the parking lot. No she wasn't doing tricks (like Eric), she was turning. And fell.

We counted the other day and Jim actually has 10 bicycles! This is his color-coordinated red/yellow/turquoise SS Spot. You can't see the saddle, but it's also annoyingly yellow.

Too bad I didn't have the camera ready when he started to attempt this and fell repeatedly.

It was getting dark at this point so after a few lessons on doing wheelies and manuals we headed towards the lake to loop it and make our way back to the parking lot. We got to a small uphill with a rocky/tech part at the top (that use to haunt me) and Jim asks if I can get over it. Yes, I say, I always get over this. Not tonight. I hit the rock without lifting up (because I'm not capable of doing that while actually going over an obstacle, just on pavement or gravel) and the front end went way up, turning the bars perpendicular to the frame, I over corrected and lost my balance and fell. Since I'm not accustomed to wrecking I didn't clip out and put my foot down to save myself from falling. Instead I held onto the bike and fell, but since I was on the edge of a cliff (fine it wasn't a cliff, but a STEEP drop off down an embankment to the swampish part of the lake) i didn't just land and stop - I landed and slid backwards down the 90 degree embankment, my ankle trapped between the bars and top tube, dragging the bike along with me. Luckily my bike got lodged between two tree limbs on edge of the trail, which kept me from tumbling into the swamp. Instead I tumbled halfway down the embankment on my back, upside down, suspended in the air, dangling by my ankle. Traumatic. Unfortunately the camera was in my camelbak and couldn't be accessed and then wouldn't work to document the aftermath. Once Morrison pulled himself off the ground from his hysterical fit, he untangled my ankle and lifted me back to safety. I managed to pedal back to the parking lot, but had to limp into Papas and Beer. To soften the blow I had a coke with dinner. The bruises seemed to wake up in the middle of the night having a party in my left leg that I wasn't invited to. Photos to come once they turn purple and black. I blame Kyle for this, since he was the one to request action. You wanted action, you got it. I almost died.

If I only had time... do a restaurant review of this place.
China One Fresh Taco Inc ( Right next to Schnitzel House too!

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Chari & Co.

Their motto states"beyond boutique". Agreed.

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Continuum Cycles

Stopped on to see my buddy jeff at continuum. He has his own house brand frames and quite the fixie business.

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NYC Velo

With Scot Nichol's personal Ibis on display.

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On the road

Strictly Bicycles in Fort Lee NJ. Full super record orca with lightweight wheels. Teenwolfs wet dream.

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El Tio pics

As you can see i'm still figuring out blogging with the iphone.

Dinner is served. Hot sauce on left, tequila on right.

Daytime looking at my hotel (left, with red awning) from my table.

Nighttime on Cadillac margarita #2. Check out the Rica sluts out front my hotel. Reminds me of Seanee Bouchard.

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Restaurant review - El Tio New Rochelle, NY

Once again I am on travel for business and once again I find myself at yet another restautant. I thought that since I travel so frequently I would give my other Hoff's and those which follow Hoff land a glimpse into my gastronomic tendencies.

Tonight I am at the Mexican joint El Tio across from my hotel in New Rochelle, NY. I love Mexican/Tex Mex. It's my second favorite food group behind chips (tortilla chips to be exact).

When I frequent a Mexican restaurant I always order the same thing so I can directly compare what I am eating with my default restaurant of choice, Papa's and Beer in Asheville. You might be saying what does Asheville have in common with Mexican food? I said the same thing until reading their story and finding that they hail from SoCal with restaurants in their blood.

My food of choice is simple, Taqueria style tacos. These should be easy to make but as I have found it's hard to make one truly delicious.

My tacos, alas, were not as good as Papa's but they weren't bad. They just didn't have the flavor and tenderness I'm used to. And the hot sauce, while good, wasn't any hotter than the salsa served with the chips. The guacamole was more creamy than chunky and can't compete wit my wife Kel's homemade version.

The shining star at El Tio was the Margarita, called he Cadillac. It was bad ass. Stronger than than the truth syrum margaritas that Kel's aunt Pammakes, yet fast at the same time. Quite simply they will dominate you. Think three shots of tequila with a splash of fresh lime and gran marnier.

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Herb-ison State Forest Hoffenchard Training Ride

Saturday morning came too soon. I had a hangover from watching Wisconsin beat Florida State with Wisconsin-ite and good friend, The Rudeness. The Rudeness doesn't ride bikes or do anything related to physical exertion; he drinks Newcastle, eats wings and chases pussy, black pussy. Therefore, Ole Kenny was in good company. That motherfucker needs a 2009 Hoffenchard kit! But whatever. Is this post about bicycles or runnin' leg? Why can't it be about both? That post will be here sooner than later. I'm working on it. So anyway, I wake up with a nasty hangover and realize I need to meet 'Erb and Ashley for a Harbison shredfest. I make a cup of coffee, pour it into a pint glass, snort a couple rails and then load up. I meet the twosome 30 minutes later, bump fists, flap gums and then take off for a quick outside loop. Ashley splits at Spiderwoman leaving me and 'Erb to duel it out. My Ergon grip is loose and on a fiendishly steep climb, it slips- throwing me backwards at 'Erb. What the fuck? They're heavy, poorly made, vaguely related to Nazis and over-priced, but I still love 'em. After a quick repair with 'Erb's multi-tool from the late 80's (1880s), we're back on the trail shreddin'. I haven't ridden MTB in a few months and it showed in the arms. Fuck, they felt like rubber. Meanwhile 'Erb, who I should be riding into the ground, is toying with me like Mimi toys with a half-dead baby squirrel. I think 'Erb's running regimen is paying dividends. He shall crush all challengers this season in his Hoffenchard debut! So yeah, we finish the ride and meet Ashley back at the parking lot. She's hanging out, sipping cheap whiskey from a flask and complaining about "the pigs always fuckin' wit' my shit". We chat about the pigs and how they in fact do hassle us and bid adieu as 'Erb and Ashley are taking their kids to the zoo. The Brooklyn Zoo? Naw, Riverbanks. But Ashley was still packing a glock, just in case somebody started wreckless eyeballin'!

There's the ole Kona resting on Spiderwoman. I'll sell this frame back to Eric, at double the price!
Ashley shows off the Old School goodness, a Syncros jacket from an Interbike 10 years ago. Actually, Eric gave it to 'Erb after a back alley handjob. Did I mention 'Erb is married to Ashley? Did I mention Eric is supposedly married to Hoffenchard Kelly? Quit judgin' ya'll

Booyah! More old school freshness and Ashley shows off the Salsa jersey that 'Erb used to wear in the expert races at Tsali in the late 80's (seriously).
Mimi, 'Erb's inspiration for our ride! She is in the top ten for "Greatest Tuxedo Cats Ever" competition. Don't forget to vote for her!